Mother"Work"

I have been thinking about the use of the term "Motherwork" by Pat Hill Collins. She discusses the idea that society in general thinks about the sphere of home/family life and work/wage earning life as two completely separate entities. Yet, this is clearly not the case. People can clearly only go out into the public arena and compete for wages when their basic needs have been met at home. Someone has to have loved, fed, and cared for them as children-as well as having to meet their needs at home as adults in order for them to have the freedom to be part of the wage earning public.

When as a young woman, I thought about having children, I never thought I would be married. My parents divorced when I was a young child and the idea of a husband/father in the home was one that I could not conceptualize in any real sense. Now I find myself in the role of Wife, Mother and wage earner. I have no actual experience in watching my Mother go about managing a male ego while supporting her family. I just have memories of her doing what needed to be done. She worked, paid the bills, and fed the family. Through sheer force of will it seemed, she raised four children to adulthood and survived to tell the tale. The incredible volume of work that was needed to accomplish this task was lost on me until I became a Mother myself.

My experience is different. I have often been told that I am fortunate because I have a very helpful spouse. This very choice of language is an interesting one. While I am caring for our children or keeping house--I am not said to be helping--I am said to be doing. This all in a situation where I work just as many hours outside the home (sometimes more!) than my husband. The issue that I struggle with is the one of ego. In my mind we both bring in income, we both created the children, we should both care for the children and the home. It seems that adding in the task of managing someone else's ego is an added and unnecessary burden.

Perhaps living in a capitalist society we would benefit from changing the terms from "Motherhood" and "Fatherhood" to "Motherwork" and "Fatherwork." Then it would be understood that both parents need time to care for children and the home. We would see that work is all interconnected and must occur in both public and private spheres in order for us all to survive and thrive.