More on the Economics of Motherhood

I had coffee yesterday with a colleague of mine who is also looking for work in this economy (oh how I have come to loathe that term). We were discussing the pitfalls of interviewing and all of the mine field questions that we have to avoid and dance around during a typical interview. Since I have not been working since having my son in October of last year, I inevitably get asked why I have been out of work so long. I do my best to gauge the sympathy level of the interviewer in whether or not to disclose the fact of my recent addition. It struck me when discussing this with my friend because he has six children! He told me that never once did he ever worry about discussing his family with potential employers--even though his wife works full time running the family business. The two of us are fairly equal in terms of educational level and business experience. We even both have large families--his even larger than mine. Yet this was a major difference in how we had to approach the job search process. I park my mini-van as far away as possible to take away the chance that someone might come and count booster seats while I am inside. I never wear any Mother's jewelry--and carry a wallet and bag that are nondescript and contain no photos of my kids. I do all of this consciously as I am out there. It left me wondering--I need the job to support this family, yet it is something that I must do my best to keep hidden while on the hunt.